A Jewel of Mirth and Humor

7 notes

- - - - + + + -

"If someone came up to you and said that you smelled like a particular flavor of potato chip, what flavor would you be?" - Yoyo

"I don’t want to smell like any potato chip" - Estela

"It doesn’t matter. YOU HAVE NO CHOICE!!!" - Yoyo

6 notes

- - - - + + - +

"I met a cat yesterday!" - Yoyo

"Sweet! You know, I’ve met cats before, a lot of them. I usually meet them at other people’s houses." - Me

"No. I mean like a real cat. One of the ones staring in the show that’s playing at the Fox Theater.” - Yoyo

5 notes

- - - - + + - -

So today Jasmine Guy came in again, and Yoyo finally noticed.  While Jasmine Guy ordered her drink from the register partner, Yoyo was standing near the register and flicked my arm. Looking up, I saw Yoyo with her body facing me, head down, stealing sideways glances at the register, with the biggest grin I’ve ever seen her wear (and her regular grin is pretty damn wide).  She looked at me with an expression that clearly said, “Look, Jasmine Guy is right there, and I’m right here! I didn’t miss her! It was meant that we should meet!”

When I realized Yoyo wasn’t about to move or say anything to Jasmine Guy, I spoke up.

"Hey, Jasmine. How did the opening of your play go?" - Me

We chat for a while about the play she’s directing while I make her latte. I tried to motion for Yoyo to come over and join the conversation, but she’s still standing back by the register, only looking up from the floor to steal the smallest of glances, smiling to herself all the while. Jasmine Guy and I end our conversation with her telling me I should come watch the play before it closes. After she leaves I turn back towards Yoyo.

"You didn’t tell her you loved her." - Me

"I know! I don’t know what’s wrong with me." - Yoyo

"Would you like to go see Jasmine Guy’s play with me?" - Me, a few minutes later.

"YES! I would LOVE to! Why? Was she asking for me to go?" - Yoyo

"I was asking for you to go! Why can’t you be excited that I asked you? Why does it have to be her?" - Me

"Just ‘cause." - Yoyo, as she shrugs her shoulders.

6 notes

- - - - + - + -

Jasmine Guy visits our Starbucks fairly regularly. Yoyo is a big fan of Jasmine Guy. I would post on my facebook about some exhange between Jasmine Guy and myself and Yoyo would get mad at me for her not being there at the time, as though I had planned it.

"You didn’t take a picture of her to send to me, you jerk?" she asked me once.

"Jasmine Guy finally talks to me while she waits for her drink. She calls me sweetie sometimes. You think I’m going to ruin that so you can have an blurry, super-awkward photo from my cell?" - Me 

"Yes!" -Yoyo

6 notes

- - - - + - + +

There was one time Yoyo was working with me when Jasmine Guy came in, and she was too busy with some task to notice. When she left, I asked Yoyo if she was happy she was finally present when Jasmine Guy was here.

"What? She was here? When? No she wasn’t. Your lying to me. It’s like I don’t even know you!" - Yoyo

"Just now, that was her who just walked out the door. We were both looking as she left?" - Me

Yoyo thinks for a moment, remembering the back half of the lady we were both watching. “Oh dear… that was her! I would have told her I loved her! Why didn’t you tell me?”

"I sorry, but I thought you would know when your idol is standing within arms length of you." - Me

"Ohhh… if you see her again, will you tell her I love her?" - Yoyo

"Really?" - Me

"Yes! No! Mmmmm, what do you think?" - Yoyo

6 notes

- - - - + - - +

"This one is yellow, I told you not to leave me any lemon ones," -Yoyo, when I gave her what was left of my jellybeans.

"That one is pineapple. You said those were ok." -Me

"Oh ok, thanks. Wait, how do you know?" -Yoyo

"Because they’re labeled. The flavor is printed on each one." -Me

"No they’re not, you jerk. This is probably lemon! But they should be labeled, shouldn’t they? They label M&Ms with a little ‘m’, and you don’t need to know you’re eating those at all. Why don’t they label jellybeans, David?" - Yoyo. David shruggs.

"But there’s no variety with M&M’s. They’re all chocolate. They can put them all through the same machine." - Sabra

"See? That proves my point!" - Yoyo

"Does it?" - everyone’s blank stare seems to ask.

5 notes

- - - - + - - -

"Do you ever think what if we were all just ice cubes, different colored ice cubes? When we walk around in this heat, we would all just melt and be like watercolors on the ground!" - Yoyo

"Why not just wonder what it’d be like if we were all already watercolors and skip the pain of melting?" - Me

"Because ice cubes are beautiful." - Yoyo

"Yeah, but if we’re gonna melt anyway, then what’s the point?" - Me

"So you get to BE a beautiful ice cube, if only for a moment!" - Yoyo

5 notes

- - - - - + + +

"She can be pretty shifty." -Yoyo, when talking about how her mom will react to her new haircut

"Yeah, she sounds like quite the gypsy." -Me

"Shut up! You don’t talk about my gypsy like that!" -Yoyo

I give her a knowing look for a moment, until she realizes what she said.

"I meant you don’t talk about my mom like that." -Yoyo

5 notes

- - - - - + + -

"You know how slugs dissolve when you put salt on them? Do you think vanilla bean powder will do that?" -Yoyo

"Do you really hate them so much you spend time figuring out new ways of torturing and killing them?" -Me

"What? No! It’s just that vanilla bean powder is so sweet." -Yoyo

"So you’re looking for a way to kill them they would enjoy?" -Me

[contemplative silence] -Yoyo

"You think they will just sit there, thinking, ‘My skin is losing the ability to hold itself together, but this stuff is just too delicious for me to care about the agonizing pain’." -Me

"Stop making me out to be a monster! I think it’s terrible to do that to a slug. I just don’t know what vanilla bean will do to them." -Yoyo

6 notes

- - - - - + - +

"A shiv?" - Yoyo

"Yeah, a blade fashioned out of something else" - me

"Oh, like a shank" -Yoyo

"Yeah, only I like to think a shank is the action associated with a shiv. Like without a shiv you can’t shank because you shank with a shiv, a shiv being the item with which you do the shanking. If it’s a regular knife, you’re just stabbing." - me

"Oh… I’m going to make you my emergency contact." - Yoyo, in all seriousness.

(from the same conversation. It’s best not to ask how we went from Starbucks’ facebook page to shivs.)